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A few thoughts on the overhead compartments

I remember the good old days of the early 90s before bag fees, and when only flight attendants used flight attendant bags.  Before boarding of a plane became a demented game of luggage Tetris.  A few random observations.

1.  If you are too weak, too old, too short, or too busy talking on your cellphone to load your own bag into the overhead then do the world a favor and check the bag.  I am talking to you little old lady on her way back to Boca Raton.  They have this great service where they put your bag with it’s red nylon ribbon under the plane.  Really they do.  Then you don’t have to do the feeble attempt while waiting for the other passengers to save you.

2.  The importance of the bins has now made the boarding of the actual plane a maze of juicy pants and dirty looks.  It starts with a sound that only people over the age of 40 seem to hear.  It’s like some middle aged dog whistle when the attendant at the desk breathes into the intercom.  Then when they actually call the section of the plane you are in the people circling like vultures are pissed at you for daring to board ahead of them.

My proposal is to eliminate all bins in the planes, and replace them with livestock.  Then the airline can get some extra money for moving freight and I can watch little old ladies try to shove chickens aside to get their skyway bag into the bin.

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