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Dinner in DelMarVa

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Int. Sushi Restaurant – Night

My girlfriend and I are in between two tables of what could generously be called locals in the great DelMarVa area.  One table is a bunch of “cool” moms and dads with their kids.  One mom even sports a K-Fed like fedora.  The other table is either grandparents or ugly aunt and uncle with their grandson or slovenly nephew.  The walls are covered in flatscreens which play looping footage of underwater scenes.

Cool Mom: And then I didn’t buy the jeans

8 yr old Daughter: I heard Charlie Sheen is on Twitter!

Cool Mom: Oh stop, go see the fish tank with your sister. (Daughter leaves) I do wonder what goes on with Charlie.  I mean he is an adult.

Cool Dad: The guy deserves some privacy

(Waiter approaches the other table where no one has clothes that fit properly)

Slob Aunt: So listen here’s the thing.  He’s allergic to Seafood, Fish, and all nuts.  You know what that means?  All things with nuts or touch nuts.

Me: (whispering) Isn’t Fish Seafood anymore?

Waiter: Let me check with the chef

Slob Aunt: And get some bread and butter when you can.


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