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Free Oprah

I recently had to listen to friends complain about the last episodes of the Oprah talk show.  One thought they were just rolling out clip shows, while the other was bored with the recent topics on the show.  Feh I say.  What these people don’t realize is Oprah doesn’t need them.  She is two weeks away from living full time in her Montecito home.  Well not home, more like a mansion.  Not a mansion even, more like a mall.  The Mall of America.

Look at this place?  Oprah should by all accounts be waking up surrounded by her eleven golden retrievers while waiting for her porter to deliver the freshly prepared passion fruit omelete her chef was working on since 5am.  You think she wants to hang out with you people?  Her house while looking like Candy Spelling’s 2nd home also radiates stay away from me.  Check out the back yard.

So don’t think you will be driving through Montecito one day and see Oprah picking fresh arugula from her road side garden.  In fact don’t expect to even see her garden.  Or her.  So enjoy these last few episodes of Oprah.  Sure they are filler.  Sure it feels like one big promo for the OWN network.  But in 10 days all you will have is Maury and Wendy Williams.  Neither of them will be living in this home.

Bathe the Goldens!

Fill the Pantry with Peanut Butter Cliff Bar!

Raise the Oprah Flag!

Her majesty is almost here.

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